I think im going to throw up on grandma
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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