Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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