a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
