now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
