Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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