so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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