True but thats because hes a fetus.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
