I haven't been this sober since birth.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so let's talk penis.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
