he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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