if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
