Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
