he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
