He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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