Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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