i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
