butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
