I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
