Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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