whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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