Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
