Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
