break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
