Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
