Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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