ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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