If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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