marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
