we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Are my feet made of real feet?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
