Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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