i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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