He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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