how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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