I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
