but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
