it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I accidentally burped into my bong.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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