everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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