Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Green mimosas i think yes
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
