hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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