Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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