Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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