The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
how drunk are you?
Several
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
