so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
