Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
