First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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