I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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