did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
