i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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