i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize