I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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