Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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