If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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