There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
