We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
