I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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