Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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