are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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