I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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