No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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