dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Drake has all the answers
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
