You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
