i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just had sex bonerless
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
