Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
